This page is dedicated to my Mom & Grammy.

The women behind the camera. They aren't in nearly enough of these pictures cause they were always the ones taking them and making sure I had the best childhood possible.

90's to 2000's Childhood

Whatever!

iMac Frame
iMac Frame

This scrapbook won't be completely linear because when we remember special aspects of our life it isn't always measured in time. It's the people we love and the places that held those memories.

Mom

Grammy

My "Snow White" dress and Poppy. Mom's VW Bug in the background.

The "Yellow Brick Road" at "The Hill".

In the mid 90's my mom and I lived at the bottom of "The Hill" in a little trailer. It was small and dingy but I didn't care cause I had my mom and a giant shed full of toys in the yard. At the very top of the hill lived my Poppy and Grammy in a mobile home with a beautiful deck overlooking the wild flowers, the pacific ocean, and the mountains in the distance. When I wasn't with my mom I'd spend the night at Poppy and Grammy's. Before bed Grammy would spritz me with her Elizabeth Taylor "Diamonds" perfume and Poppy and I would have chocolate pudding. Soon came my little cousin Austin. We would drive off in our toy motorized car or go exploring the gardens. I named the gardens the "yellow brick road" due to the winding yellow dirt pathway. It was like something out of a fairytale. Life was magical and I was so very loved.

"You're the bestest of THE MALL"

Mommy and me at Disneyland CA.

Mom & I on Christmas. She would stay up till 4am to win me Buffy action figures on ebay. Pictured here is my bad ass Spice Girls shirt and a Saved By The Bell DVD.

Click for our song!

Blondie concert!

My first concert was Social Distortion but Blondie was the first concert of my choice (although I later became a Social D fan and saw them live 2 more times.) My mom surprised me with tickets for my birthday. Whenever we were driving in the car I would demand the Blondie cassette tape be played so I could sing at the top of my lungs. I'll never forget Deborah Harry coming out with her hair tucked into a hat and me being sad she didn't have the famous Blonde hair. Then half way through the song she threw off her hat and let her hair down and I screamed like a teenage girl seeing The Beatles for the first time.

Click the ticket!

"Austy Spamonty was a berry happy man!"

In 1995 I got to be there when my little cousin Austin was born. From there on out it was like I had a sibling. Always me and him getting into trouble, fighting, and playing pretend. From wanting to become WWE wrestlers (and me kicking his ass by the way), to me making up absurd board game rules because he couldn't read yet, to road trips with Grammy and Poppy – he was the Pugsly to my Wednesday Addams.

Poppy & Grammy moved to a house in the Santa Ynez valley. My mom and I lived there for a time. Austin and his mom too. They had horses. Picture shows Poppy in his natural habitat, enjoying the nature.

"Trip N' Touring" with Grammy & Poppy

After several years in Santa Barbara & Santa Ynez, Grammy and Poppy moved to Merced, CA where they bought and renovated a historical theater. Austin and his mom, Bridgette (Bidden), would follow. Mom and I stayed behind in SB. This would open up all summers and school holidays for road trips with Austin, Grammy, and Poppy. They called it "trip n tours". We would drive all around California checking out little saloons that would let us kids in, old cemeteries, and road side attractions. These are some of my most fondest memories. Even the pillow wall Grammy would have to build for when me and Austin would inevitably start fighting on these long road trips. 

Grammy, me, Austin, and a random zebra on the side of the road somewhere in California.

The Buellton house.

The Sisters

"Bidden Noo Noo Head"

When we were mermaids...

Click me!

Click for our song!

Bidden, Austin, Grammy and I at the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose, CA. I was obsessed with ghost stories from a young age.

It's such a weird feeling spending so many years grieving someone who is still alive, you almost forget that person you loved so much existed because they've been replaced with someone so angry and lost, and then you see these pictures and remember. My Aunt Bidden (Bridgette) was like a second mother to me. Her and my mom were best friends. Every day we would walk to the beach and she would tell me that we're secretly mermaids and someday I'll get my tail too. We'd eat ice cream, play barbies, and listen to Pearl Jam or Nirvana on blast. She'd call me on the phone pretending to be Baby Bop from Barney. She'd take me to her AA meetings at her sober living home where all the women adored me. When I was a teenager and struggling myself she was the first person my mom called for help and she brought me back to life. She was my Bidden Noo Noo head. I miss her full of life and love.

CRT TV Frame
CRT TV Frame

Sissy & Sonny

My cousin sibling tree was extended when Bidden had Samantha and Johnny. Sadly so many of their baby pictures are lost but I was able to digitize an old tape that still had a single moment from their baby lives. Austin is filming Sammy girl, me, and baby Johnny. Samantha's first words were "shoes" and "good girl". I would hold her in my arms for hours. The first baby girl I ever got to hold. Holding her, I just knew I always had to protect her from the world, that she was special. I couldn't do that because life has it's way sometimes but given the chance I always will. And Sonny.. Sweet baby cousin Johnny. His favorite word was "HoGog" (Hot Dog). As a toddler he was always covered in dirt from playing in the Mariposa mountains. He was never afraid of anything. And if he was, he wouldn't let you know it. I never actually thought I had to protect Johnny. He always had a way of handling business as a kid. Devastatingly, we lost him at freshly 20 years old in September of 2023. I can still picture his dirt covered baby face singing me "HoGog" on the guitar in his diaper. I may not have many pictures left from this era of their lives but their little faces are permanently etched into my heart. 

The Mainzer Theater

My grandparents spent 3 years renovating The Strand Theater in Merced, CA. My grandfather, Hans Mainz, lead the construction and architecture and my Grammy, Brenda Farley, ran the day to day business operations. They named it The Mainzer-Strand Theater, more commonly known as The Mainzer. In 1999 they opened the doors. Connected to the building was the best breakfast place in the world, the Cinema Cafe, where I would eat at every morning. Outside the theater my Poppy Hans grew banana trees. Inside the theater was a German deli and cafe plus concessions stand adorned with green and gold paint, local artists' paintings, and old Hollywood star portraits filled the walls. Down the hall had two movie theaters on either side. They mostly showed indie and foreign films here although my Poppy swung for Fast & The Furious because he loved cars and Grammy got "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when it came out. Past the theaters was a concert hall and bar for live music, theater, and comedy shows. Some big names played here like Tech N9ne but it mostly was a home to small local and traveling bands. My mother and Aunt bartended and my little cousin Austin and I would occasionally handle the concessions for fun. It was also very haunted. The most memorable part of The Mainzer though was the community of local 20 something year old artists that became family. They worked with us and some even lived with us. This place was a home to misfit kids. Even when they thought they couldn't keep it going they handed the keys to one of those misfit kids to try. Sadly, my grandparents had to file for bankruptcy and the theater closed its doors in 2006. It wasn't for a lack of love and effort from all involved. In 2004 the Art Deco Society of California gave The Mainzer a "Historic Preservation" award for their renovations. The memories of what my grandparents and those young misfits did here live on even with the corporate take over of the building by the Hyatt in 2017. They kept the name but they wont even pronounce it right. Poppy's banana trees were ripped down and the Cinema Cafe was replaced with a game room. But the ghosts will always be there along with the moments that became core memories for so many.

The Strand Theater was constructed in the 1920's. In the the 30's there was a fire that destroyed a large portion of the theater.

CRT TV Frame
CRT TV Frame

All of our pictures and videos of our time at The Mainzer was lost to a fire at my Grandparents' trailer home after leaving the theater and moving back to Santa Barbara. All of these pictures have been found online. I was lucky enough to stumble upon some youtube videos (below) that show the interior of the building we called home. I do not own the rights to these videos they are simply the only remnants of this era of our family's story I could find. The video opens with Grammy interrupting a punk show to scold someone in the crowd LOL. Then features a band talking to Grammy and Grammy recommending the movie "The Secret Window", while my little cousin Austin is next to her flipping his hat in the air. I included some extra footage that shows the marquee and the inside of the cafe. So cool to find this when I thought everything was lost.

"Barney Drinks Beer"

Mom and Dad divorced when I was a baby and Dad lived 2 hours away with my Grandma and Papa Bellini. They never did the shared custody thing which I'm grateful for because our situation worked. I looked forward to visiting him on random weekends or school vacations. It continued for some time when they moved to a super fun mountain house in Arizona. I had tons of cousins to play with whenever I would visit and always enjoyed the quality time with my Dad. In 1997 Buffy the Vampire Slayer aired and me and him would watch together. It became our thing through a distance, emailing each other about the show on hotmail and him sending me Buffy related gifts for holidays.

Dad and I at Uncle Scott & Aunt Kelly's wedding. I cut my own bangs the night before lol.

One of my favorite summers with the Bellini's is when me and my cousins piled into a van and traveled around the country visiting various family members in different states. The van had a TV and VCR!

The Bellini house in Arizona. So many fun times with my cousins. Playing Sega, Spice Girls, making a Blair Witch Project re-enactment, and so on. I loved getting to see my Dad as "Uncle Mike" to my cousins.

This was the trip none of my cousins were in town for so I remember being so bored on the first day! Dad quickly fixed that by letting me hang in his room with him the whole time. We would watch the Buffy spin off "Angel" on recorded VHS tapes. I never got to watch it cause it came on too late after Buffy. When we weren't lazing around he would take me on the quad to explore the mountain.

Dad, Duke, & Me at the Arizona house. 

Mom, me, and Dad on a rare visit from him to Santa Barbara. He took me to see House of Wax in theaters.

Click for our song!

Michael Steven Bellini passed away July 7th, 2018 surrounded by love.

Into every generation a Slayer is born...

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"If the apocalypse comes, beep me."

James Marsters (Spike). He said he liked my leather dress!

Juliet Landau (Drusilla). She said, "you're like a mini me!"

Met Amber Benson (Tara), twice. She as the sweetest human ever. Second time she said, "hey, I've met you before I haven't I?"

Xander (Nicholas Brendan). It's come to light that he is a violent and horrible human so I do not support him. My outfit is super cute though!

Emma Caulfield (Anya) was lovely. She had a laugh at my "me first" shirt.

Jane Espenson (Buffy writer & producer), Kristine Sutherland (Joyce), me, and Sylvie.

Elizabeth Anne Allen (Amy the rat). I just remember her being really nice!

Click to launch AOL!

LOL, Chosen Destinies* was a Buffy fan site/RP Guild I made.

I would spend hours on AOL (not AIM, like actually dial up from a disc AOL), hanging in the Buffy chat room, making Buffy websites, browsing forums, designing graphics, roleplaying in The Crypt chat room, and live journal type sites. I could write an entire novel on what Buffy the Vampire Slayer has meant to me throughout my life but I'll keep this short. One of the biggest things Buffy taught me was that girls are powerful. And without the fandom and the old internet I probably would have never discovered my passion for web and graphic design. Oh and in the 4th grade I tried to change my name to Willow with my family and classmates. It didn't work haha.

And then I pooped on his couch...

Mom met Scott when I just turned 5 years old. The first night I slept at his house I ate too many grapes and pooped on his couch. TMI lol. We moved from Grammy's house in Buellton to live with him at his family property back in Santa Barbara. And for a while we were really happy. The Angel compound was nestled in the most quaint suburban style neighborhood down a long driveway with his Grandma's house, his parents' house, and the small little one bedroom we lived in till I hit Jr High. There was a strip of avocado trees lining one side of the fence, a pool with a water slide, a tennis court, and tons of beautiful plants and orange trees. Scott taught me how to ride a bike and how to swim. We had tons of family inside jokes and on the weekends we would go dirt bike riding or watch him hang glide off a mountain. It felt like the picture perfect family and to this day I love him very much even if his own stubbornness, arrogance, and ignorance chooses not to love me back. When I was 13 years old my brother Scotty 2 was born, followed by Sean at 15. He's the father to my brothers and these memories, though they ache, will always be special. I'll save the sad parts for my diary and therapy haha. This is about when we were happy and life living at the Angel family compound.

That blue blanket is now known as "Blinks". My little brothers named it and were obsessed with it and still have it to this day as teenagers lol. To me it was just a blanket.

Scott's Harley Davidson.

Me pretending it's Christmas in July lol.

Generation Girl Barbie dolls!

Butterfly clips! So Y2K.  ✦   Butterfly clips! So Y2K.  ✦   Butterfly clips! So Y2K.  ✦   Butterfly clips! So Y2K.  ✦  

Basso kitty, Sassy kitty, Gracie kitty, Beagle dog, Millie kitty, Missy Mouse, and Indie dog.

Childhood Pets!

Pool birthday parties!

I made Austin sit alone at my birthday party. SO RUDE! Hilarious though.

Grammy!

Mom made this cake and it was my fav birthday cake ever!

"The Terror Twins"

  • Lots of sleepovers!
  • Playing the very first Sims on her blue iMac and making them WooHoo.
  • Making our barbies "WooHoo".
  • Prank phone calls. Specifically this random number we dialed in that became our go to of a woman named Joyce who never answered so we would blow up her voice mail with the most insane calls. One day she did answer and threatened to call the cops. We had to run to Sylvie's mom cause we were so scared LOL.
  • We had a ouija board obsession. Sylvie, if you are reading this, I was the one moving the board.
  • We started a ghost investigation team called "The Terror Twins", printed out flyers and stuck them in mailboxes. We only got a prank call back.
  • We loved Buffy and went to many an autograph signing together. I remember when I was super obsessed with Faith I started calling her "C" and it pissed her off.
  • Spells and all the witchy books!
  • Josie & The Pussycats failed talent show try out.
  • And sooo many more!

Sylvie & I at Disneyland! We got to stay in the Disneyland Hotel too it was so much fun!

My mom took us to see Aaron Carter & A Teens at the SB Bowl! This was right after the Aaron Carter Lizzie McGuire episode came out so we both fantasized we'd meet Aaron just like Lizzie lol.

Just a picture of me taken at Sylvie's mom Lisa's house. Their house felt like a second home to me. Her mother was a full time artist and every inch of their home was full of whimsy.

My childhood BFF, Sylvie was the source of all my favorite memories and funnest times. She's also who inspired most of my interests to this day.

iMac Frame
iMac Frame

Elementary School.
"Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider."

Pre-school picture day.

1st grade Halloween.

Lead in Kindergarten school play. The Little Yellow Chicken.

You know that meme, "I never wanted to be a Princess. I wanted to be a Witch"? Yeah well, I wanted to be BOTH! Also apparently have blonde curly hair LOL. In elementary school I got bullied a lot. Sometimes by my 1st & 2nd grade teacher for being "too girly" and wearing dresses and pretty shoes. Other times by my classmates for liking witchcraft, the supernatural, Buffy, and all things spooky. But I had a great group of friends that made me proud to be myself and never conform!

This shirt lives rent free in my head. The most 90's celestial cuteness.

My 6th grade play. "Brush Up Your Shakespeare". I played a witch in the Macbeth satire scene. I got to dance around my childhood crush and was super stoked haha.

"Who's a rockstar?"
"I am."

Jelly!

Next chapter coming soon...

And she would spend the rest of her life trying to recreate the magic of her childhood...

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